Dear little miss Meta Jane McCalvy,
I am so sorry that I don't have pictures of Daddy holding you when you were first born.
I am NOT sorry that there are no pictures of the bathroom right after you were born; it was a bit of a mess.
I am sorry there are no pictures of the firemen and paramedics in the living room checking you out.
I am sorry there are no pictures of the ambulance and fire truck in front of the apartment.
I am sorry there are no pictures of us in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.
I am sorry there are no pictures of you in the emergency room getting checked out by the nurses and the pediatricians.
You surprised us, Little Chickadee, and I admit I wasn't quite prepared for your arrival.
I had an appointment with my midwife on Thursday the 20th. We scheduled a next appointment for Wednesday the 26th, the day before Thanksgiving and hoped to not need it. We talked a little bit about what we were going to do if you still weren't here by then.
We also talked about GBS. Group B Strep. It's a virus that is often found in a woman's reproductive system. So often, that women are routinely tested for it at the last few weeks of their pregnancy. I was GBS positive. Protocol would be for antibiotics to be administered to me during labor to prevent GBS from being passed along to you during birth. Another option was for a vaginal wash to be administered at the birth center during labor for the same reason. A third option would be to do nothing during labor and hopefully have no complications and then watch you closely after birth for signs of infection - such as a fever. I was leaning toward the vaginal wash option.
Last, we had a check and a membrane sweep - things the midwife can do to see if, just maybe, she could help the labor process begin. She said Mommy's body was preparing, dilated a tiny bit.
I called Oma. She was flying to Alaska the next day (today) and she said she really hoped that you would be born before she arrived. She really, really wanted to meet you the moment she came to Alaska and to have you here for every minute. When Oma left Boise this morning, she left a voice mail on Mommy's phone - she said she was on her way! She'd be in Anchorage soon after lunch. Oma didn't know that you were finally on your way too!
At 3:30ish in the morning, I woke up with contractions. They were uncomfortable enough that I knew they were contractions, but I also know that labor is a long process and the contractions were mild enough that I didn't know if they would continue to be active labor. I tried to knit. That didn't help keep my mind occupied and it was impossible to knit during a contraction, they take too much concentration. It seems so funny that it takes concentration to relax, but it really does!
Finally, I found a comfortable position. I knelt on the floor in the living room (I didn't want to disturb any one else's sleep) with my arms and head on the couch. I could rest on the couch (and pray) between contractions. And during a contraction, it helped me to sway my hips and just breathe.
At some point, both Daddy and Grandma came out to use the bathroom and asked if I needed anything. Nope. Just having contractions.
At about 5:30ish, I began texting my midwife. She asked how far apart the contractions were and how long they lasted. I had no idea. I downloaded an app onto Daddy's phone and started timing. 3-5 minutes apart, lasting 45sec-1 minute. It was starting to get more difficult to relax during contractions and I felt really constipated (as I had for most of my pregnancy). I was finally able to poop and that helped my comfort level with the contractions, for a few minutes. The midwife and I made plans to meet at the birth center at 8. She told me to eat some breakfast and to let her know if things started to get more intense. I finally woke Daddy up, told him to eat breakfast, asked for some toast and he started loading the car.
I puked up the two bites of toast that I had eaten. Then I cleaned the toilet and rinsed my mouth. I knew I had to get dressed and walk up the stairs to get into the car, but the contractions were so intense by that point. Not exactly painful, but close together and... oh no. I really don't think I can put on any pants. I don't think I can walk up the stairs. I just want to sit on the toilet and breathe through the next contraction and the next.
It was about 7:20ish in the morning. I admit I had been stalling for awhile so that we wouldn't get to the birth center before the midwife.
Grandma was waiting for the bathroom. She asked if I needed anything. I was finally beginning to think that this baby, my baby, you, were going to be born NOW. I asked for towels, thinking that we'd have something to catch you with. The apartment had white towels.
Then Daddy came back downstairs from the car. I was just having a contraction, this one actually hurt enough that I was saying "ow ow ow ow" and half crouching above the toilet. It was because your little head was crowning and stretching me. They call it the 'ring of fire' when my body stretches around your head. I reached down and felt the top of your head. Daddy stepped into the bathroom and asked if he could do anything for me.
"Catch."
Of course, I meant catch our baby, she's coming now! But he understood because he could also see that you were here.
Daddy stepped back into the hallway, took off his coat, asked Grandma to call 9-1-1 and then came back in. He asked me if I could move into the bathtub. There isn't a lot of room at the front of the toilet for a man and a woman and a baby. There was no way, no way at all, that I was going to be able to lift a leg and a foot over the side of the tub. You were already on your way! The best I could do was to try to stand up and so I lifted off the toilet and tried to give as much space as possible.
Grandma was on the phone with the EMS dispatcher, running out of the apartment to find out the address by looking at the numbers on the building, and running back into the apartment to give the dispatcher updates. Lincoln was sound asleep in the bedroom a short distance down the hallway. Oma was either in Seattle or just on board the plane to Anchorage.
I didn't have to push. My body and gravity and your body did everything. Some of the details are fuzzy, an unexpected, unassisted home birth is a messy, and in your case, fast event. At some point there was a big gush into the toilet and my water broke. Your head crowned during one contraction and then it seemed your entire body came during the next. Daddy tried to catch you, I'm sorry little one, but you were very, very slippery. We're pretty sure your body rotated as you came out and you slipped right down to the just-cleaned toilet. Your head probably hit the rim of the toilet too - you had a bruise on your forehead. It was 7:30. We know because Grandma was on the phone with EMS.
Daddy picked you up to check you out. Your umbilical cord must've been short because it broke off during your birth - about an inch away from your belly button. That was Daddy's next thought - do something with the umbilical cord. But it had broken off and you weren't bleeding through it, so there was nothing to do. Then he worked on clearing your airway a bit. He held you so your head was lower than your feet and tapped your back until you cried. I don't remember if he physically tried to clear your airway or not. I need to ask him. (He says it only took the one upside down tapping, that you cried once and he could monitor your breathing after that.) Your whole body was so purple and you only cried out once that I could hear. (It is perfectly normal for a newborn to be purpleish - but I didn't remember that, so it was scary.)
I felt so helpless at that point. There was nothing I could do for you. I picked up my end of the broken umbilical cord, pinched it closed and stepped into the bathtub. I was watching you with Daddy, but I couldn't hear you. I kept asking him if you were breathing and he would reassure me. I really don't remember any contractions after the ones where you were born, but I know they continued because after a very short couple of minutes the placenta just seemed to deliver itself into the bathtub.
I could hear Grandma on the phone with the dispatcher. She told them that you had been born. Then told them when the placenta was also delivered and brought me a bowl to put it into. Then she ran up the stairs to bring the firemen.
The next part is a bit fuzzy for me since I was still standing in the bathtub, but you and Daddy and a half dozen EMS men ended up in the living room. They suctioned your airway and checked you over. The paramedic also checked my vital signs and looked over the placenta to make sure it was complete. They gave Daddy a whole bunch of CONGRATULATIONS and WAY TO GO DAD! I was really impressed with Daddy too. He didn't panic, he just did what ever he could to make sure you were breathing and to reassure me.
I put on a bathrobe and they helped me into the living room (more white towels on the floor to protect the carpet) and we all tried to decide what to do next. The paramedic was willing to release me to my midwife's care. We called the midwife and explained that you were already born. She'd been at the Birth Center for awhile already (I wish I'd known that, I wouldn't have stalled at the apartment as long, I think.). Her protocol was for us to go transfer to the hospital, since she hadn't been able to provide care for the birth, to get checked out there. It was tempting to say, "We're fine." and stay at the apartment. After all, one of the reasons I wanted to have you at the birth center was to avoid an uncomfortable hospital stay. But I also worried. Your umbilical cord broke and you essentially fell into a toilet. You were so purple and until EMS arrived, we weren't prepared to help clear your airway. We had no idea if my body needed any medical care, such as stitches due to tearing. So we decided to transfer to the hospital. The midwife was going to meet us there with copies of my prenatal medical records.
After your airway was clear, your skin tone started to become more pink and I could see just how beautiful and perfect you are. It is so wonderful to participate in Heavenly Father's earthly plan for his children - how amazing it is for Daddy and I to be a part of the creation of life!
I put on a bathrobe and shoes and the EMS team wrapped you in one of their white towels. Daddy carried you up the stairs and held you while I got situated on the ambulance gurney and loaded into the back of the ambulance. Then I got to hold you and you nursed while we drove to the hospital. During the ride, they also took my blood pressure and put in an IV (their protocol). That was really uncomfortable and a little painful, having tubing in my elbow while I was trying to hold you. It wasn't the easiest introduction to nursing - rocking around on an ambulance gurney, but you didn't seem to have any difficulty.
Daddy finished packing the car and followed the ambulance after a few minutes. Lincoln was still asleep in the bedroom. Grandma was left with the mess in the bathroom and all those bloody white towels. I will forever be grateful to Grandma; she planned to stay with Lincoln and ended up calling EMS and cleaning up after us. I don't think she even got to hold you before we left. But I do know she'll never forget the day you were born!
While we rode in the ambulance, the EMS team was on the radio with the hospital Emergency Department. They told the ED that they were coming with two patients - a newborn baby and her mother. No other details. The nurses told me later, that at the very least, it would have been helpful to know if it was a full term birth or a premature one. Very big difference in terms of how much help the mom and baby might need. The EMS guys brought us into the ED, gave the nurses a few more details and then left. The midwife arrived a few minutes later with a folder of paperwork and she stayed to answer any questions she could about my prenatal care.
It took awhile to get both of us into the computer system. We weren't preregistered because I wasn't planning on a hospital visit unless your birth got complicated. It was just complicated enough! The nurses took our vitals, weighed and measured you, decided that your APGARs were 8/9 - they had to guess because Daddy wasn't trained to measure your APGAR score at birth and the EMS guys could only tell how active you were at 5 minutes because they missed your birth too. Daddy arrived and answered questions that I couldn't about you. He is the official witness of your birth.
I can't remember if the pediatrician came first or my doctor, but we'd never met either before. They just called in the on-call doctor for neonates and OBGYN. When the pediatrician and his resident came, they were examining you and you spit up all over. The doctor reminded me that I am supposed to burp my baby after feeding. He was right. I had completely forgotten to burp you after nursing in the ambulance. Oops.
He declared you perfectly healthy, but he wanted to keep you in the hospital for 2 nights to watch for any signs of infection. Only because of my GBS+ status. The risk factors were very low, but he wanted to be conservative. Fine. We decided to come to the hospital and have doctors check us out, so we were going to live with the consequences - such as having a perfectly healthy baby stuck in the hospital for two long days.
My doctor also checked me out, said that I had some very minor tearing that didn't require stitching. He also said that I only had to stay in the hospital as long as my baby. Fine. But they did want to administer some pitocin through the IV because I was still bleeding more heavily than they like. I had pitocin after Lincoln's birth for the same reason, so that wasn't too much of a surprise. After the IV pitocin was administered and another round of vital signs and a whole bunch of computer registration, we were released from the ED and transferred to the maternity floor.
Daddy has a good friend from growing up in Cordova, Tom Rawlins. Tom and his wife, Leah, are expecting their first baby and have the exact same due date for their daughter as we did with ours. Tom teased about it being a race - which baby would be born first? While in Anchorage, Lincoln and I had lunch with Leah and we chatted about how we were feeling at the end of our pregnancies. When our due dates came and went, the four of us touched base occasionally to see if there was progress for either baby.
While we were being transferred from the Emergency Department to the Maternity Floor, we saw Tom and Leah walking in the hallways. We found out that Leah was in labor and they'd be having their baby in the next few hours. So we left them to continue to walk the halls. Later that day, they moved into a room one door away from ours.
Ember and Meta were born on the same day, but Meta was first. During our two day stay (Leah and Ember were discharged a couple hours before us), we went to visit in their room a couple times and got a picture of the two proud daddy's with their baby daughters.
